Toys & Merch

Toy Review: Mine, Mine, Mine

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I’ve written about my love for a certain Orange Lantern before. My beloved Larfleeze, in all his greedy glory, continues to shine in DC’s Blackest Night epic. Though I stopped understanding the plot about three months ago (something about rainbow midichlorians), Larfleeze has been a consistent scene-stealer throughout. So imagine my delight when I was browsing at my local comics monger’s yesterday and spotted Mr. Fleeze captured forever in plastic by DC Direct. I gasped at finally finding the elusive little orange guy and was immediately reprimanded by Sexy Comics Monger, who warned, “Hey! What did I tell you about the gasping?”

But not even his stern reproach could dampen my glee. Larfleeze is mine, mine, mine. I was a little afraid to take him out of the package. First of all, I was concerned he might come to life and take all my stuff. But mostly, this line of action figures comes in one of those seriously hardcore plastic shells, which can be a bitch to get into. I know they keep the card nice and protected for all eternity, but if I have to employ power tools to open a toy, it’s almost too much trouble. However, for the sake of accuracy in my review, I called in sick to work so I could focus on getting into the packaging. Two-hundred years later, Larfleeze was free.

Sculpted by Jeremy Bush, the figure successfully captures Larfleeze in all his pointy-headed Muppet-y glory. In his upper body, he is articulated at the neck, shoulders, elbows and wrists. In his lower body, he is only articulated at the hip/leg and knee. There is no waist nor ankle articulation. I realize I’m a little spoiled by the Four Horsemen‘s highly articulated sculpts in DC’s Mattel lines. And while I can’t say I really need Larfleeze to be able to turn at the waist or pivot his toes into ballet position, it would have been a nice option, just the same. Larfleeze is accompanied by Glomulus, the DC Universe’s answer to Cousin Oliver. His round little body features basic leg and arm articulation, plus that wide, charming grin. He makes a nice companion for the big guy. In terms of accessories, Lar comes with an Orange Lantern and a figure stand. I’d like to give a few extra points for how well the stand works, too. Having finally given up on getting my MOTU figures to stand on their bases, it’s a welcome change to have a figure fit securely and tightly onto a stand. So, kudos for that.

Now that Larfleeze is free from his plastic prison, and takes his place on my shelf just before Legolas and Leia, I can only hope Larfleeze survives the Blackest Night and makes it into the Brightest Day. And would it be too much to ask for him to have his own title? Or a movie? I see him suddenly saddled with a young son he never knew he had, as he struggles to teach him how to share and maybe learn a little something about love along the way. I’d just call it Mine. Maybe get Owen Wilson to play Larfleeze. Then Luke Wilson could play Glomulus. And, of course, Miss Betty White as irascible, but lovable Gramms.

On the FBOTU Scale of Fabulousness, I give DC Direct’s Larfleeze 4 out of 5 greedy emoticons: grrr grrr grrr grrr

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