All right, class. Your assignment is to watch the latest trailer for New Moon, the next cinematic installment of the Twilight Saga. Pay attention; discussion will follow.
All done? Good. I’d now like to draw your attention to Bella’s
Twilight Diaries entry from the clip: “The absence of him is everywhere I look. It’s like a huge hole has been punched through my chest.” Now, let’s compare that to a journal entry yours truly wrote way back in the Year of Our Lord Nineteen Hundred and Ninety-Four: “Every moment is like an abortion of emotions. He is everywhere and no where. And I am finally, finally dead inside. A frozen cavern where my heart used to be.”
Bella is much more succinct, but she also has the luxury of Hollywood screenwriters helping her get to the point more economically than my own bitter ramblings. I bring up this comparison, not only because I love embarrassing myself in front of tens of…well…tens of readers, but also because I’ve decided to stop making jokes at the expense of the Twilight Nation. It doesn’t mean I will necessarily lend my support to their endeavors, but I do understand and acknowledge what it’s like to be young, melodramatic and convinced that the whole world revolves around my own personal love story. So, carry on, my little Bellas, Edwards and Jacobs. I was once a 12-year-old girl, too. Well, in spirit. New Moon opens November 20.
P.S. “Guys taking their shirts off” seems to be a major subplot this time around. Thank Jebus the Oscars expanded the number of eligible nominees for Best Picture to 10. Just in time! (And for you Kristen Stewart fans out there, there’s this.)