Toys & Merch

Toy Review: Randor and the Jolly Green Goddess


An early Christmas present for myself, I couldn’t possibly wait another whole week to open the goods. The latest releases from Mattel’s Masters of the Universe Classics line arrived today! By now, I feel like I’m just repeating myself by proclaiming how awesomely good this series is. The sculpts and parts are being re-used figure after figure, of course, which explains a lot of my repetitive praises. But the seemingly endless way they cleverly convert the pieces from figure to figure manages to be both innovative and yet also a nostalgic homage to the originals.


First up is The Goddess. Can’t say I ever wanted her or thought much about her beyond wondering how the heck she fit into all the weird Teela characterizations. However, now that I have her in my hands, I never want to let her go. As promised in the prototype pics, she is somewhat translucent and just as green as she can be. The Goddess is, of course, a re-casting of Teela, and I’m pleased to report that her legs don’t suffer from the awkward disjointed appearance of my Teela’s legs. So, it’s just my Teela that needs physical therapy. The Goddess comes with snake armor headdress, staff, shield, plus all of He-Man’s fabulous accessories (shield, axe and harness). Her goofy bio says her real name is…wait for it…Sharella. I’m not even going to go there. It also says that He-Man is named after the Sword of He or some such nonsense. Whatever. In all this biographical reimagining, why not give her Teela’s snake staff and give Teela the royal guard staff? That’s what I’m going to do. I should also mention that her paint job is gorgeous, and it’s impressive just how stoic and regal she is. My only complaint is that her head is extremely loose. Like bobblehead loose. Wobbly. Like a bladder on a stick. I know I can fix that, but I dream of the day when my $20 action figure arrives and I don’t have to fix something on it.


Speaking of stoic, regal and $20, here comes King Randor! Oh, daddy! Now we know where Adam gets his fashion sense. King Daddy Bear is dressed in royal blue, orange, red, gold and fur. In therapy, he would be advised to try narrowing his outfit down by one color every morning for a week. In addition to his pride parade outfit, Randor comes with a big royal scepter and a sword. His cape is molded plastic and attached to the back of his armor. His armor makes him more than a little top heavy, and I had to work to get him to stand on his own. But it’s a minor quibble. My only major quibble is the paint job. As you can see in the photos, his crown will require a little touch-up. So, once again, I’m fixing my $20 action figure.

It’s a testament to my love for these characters and for this line that I keep buying them, despite these minor infractions. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Randor has a date with Duncan. Thanks, Mattel!

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