Holy Rift! Fox to Develop US Version of Torchwood


Well, of all the things I wasn’t expecting to see all over the interwebs today, a proposed US version of Torchwood pretty much tops the list. All right. Let’s break this down, shall we? The Hollywood Reporter states that Fox is developing the project, with Russel T. Davies himself on board, writing the pilot. Other members of the UK production team are joining him, too, including Julie Gardner and Jane Tranter. This, of course, doesn’t mean it will go to series or even ever make it on the air. It’s a pilot, so who knows?

If nothing else, I try to be somewhat open-minded here on FBOTU. However, my love/hate/hate/hate relationship with Torchwood has tainted me against the series forever. That said, I shall do my best to look at this fairly:

A US version would probably dispatch with the pointless, purposeless nihilism of the original.
Beloved characters might actually survive from season to season.
Series leads probably won’t turn into child-killing monsters for no reason other than simple shock value.

Say goodbye to the hot man-on-man action. The oppressive US would rather invite Osama bin Laden to Thanksgiving dinner than see two men kiss.
Great characters like Tosh and Owen will be replaced with pouting, photogenic teenagers and walk-on roles by rejected American Idol contestants.
Immortal Captain Jack will now be a dreamy vampire in love with a clumsy 16-year-old girl.

The best bet would be to make this a spin-off, not a remake. Assuming there are Torchwood hubs all over the world, near local rift activity, it would make sense just to shift the focus to a new office. That way, you keep the integrity of the original (such as it is) and create opportunities for crossovers from Cardiff to please the diehard fans. Too bad all the good characters are dead. Or maybe if Gray digs himself out of the rubble of the hub (where he was left and completely forgotten in Children of Earth), he’ll head to the US and start his own Torchwood HQ with Captain John. I’d watch that.

In conclusion, I’m not saying no to this. However, this is one of those rare cases where I’d prefer the original creator not be involved. Mr. Davies has given us enough unrelenting tragedy for one lifetime, thank you very much.