Note: Booth babes are good. Very good.
I’ve had a couple of days now to recover from Comic-Con, so I can write coherently about the whole experience. Any attempts at writing yesterday just resulted in my face pressed against the cool, cool keys of my keyboard. I was ridiculously tired after the whole show was said and done. I’ve never smiled and pretended to be nice for five days in a row. It takes a lot out of a person. But that’s just one of the things I learned this year. Here are a few more.
1. FBOTU Site Members are Awesome
Meeting site members truly was the highlight of the con. I missed a lot of programming by stationing myself at a booth all day, but I wouldn’t have missed meeting you guys for anything. I also want to give a shout-out to all the lurkers I met over the weekend. Thanks for not just lurking around the booth. I’m glad you said hi! Now, feel free to say hi on the site, too!
2. Gay Comic Book Creators Are Hot
At one point, I looked around and found myself surrounded by Justin Hall, Ed Luce, Sean-Z and Dave Davenport. It’s too much hotness for one con, let alone one booth. I had to go buy an $8 cup of ice just to cool down a little bit.
3. Help Wanted: Minions
Since I was denied pre-sale bounty from Mattel, I wasn’t looking forward to standing in line, getting a ticket, dealing with surly Mattel workers and disgruntled toy collectors. But then I found someone to go do all that for me. If you can bring minions to Comic-Con (or find them there), I highly recommend it.
4. Gail Simone Is Not Really My Friend
I’ve spent the past month or two replying to Gail Simone’s Tweets as if I know her. I do not. When I got the chance to meet her at the Con, I introduced myself as if she knows me. She does not. Plus, I carried my Wonder Woman book around every day except the day I actually met her. That day, of course, I left it at the hotel. I think it’s time to cut my losses and transfer my stalking talents to Daniel Way. Does he have a Twitter account?
5. Sometimes…Homophobia Is Good
At WonderCon, I learned that kids and teenage girls love free buttons, especially if there’s a rainbow involved. Neither of those groups are in the demographic for this website, though. I knew I had to do something at Comic-Con to make sure folks knew the free buttons have rules and restrictions attached. So I used my newfangled iPad as a very expensive sign, alerting people that the rainbow geek buttons = super gay. Worked like a charm. People would run towards the pile of buttons, see the sign, then run away, leaving plenty for the homos. Yay homophobia!
6. The Pen is Mightier Than the Cosplay Sword
You might have heard by now that there was a minor altercation in one of the halls, and one attendee jabbed another in or around the eye with a pen. When the rumors first spread, all we heard was that someone in a Harry Potter shirt stabbed someone else. My first question: “With what? A wand?” It’s a sad turn of events that will probably bring some sort of overreaction next year (bag searches, metal detectors, pen confiscation). Just the day before, though, I was seriously considering stabbing the woman sitting next to me in the DC panel, who would not stop answering her phone. I thought, if I brain her with a rock, would anyone care? No, no they would not. So, I sympathize with Harry Stabber.
7. Why Are You Here?
I know there’s nothing more top secret than a comic book, TV or movie storyline. While classified military documents find their way online all the time, forget trying to find out who Batgirl is going to fight next. Because of this level of security, a lot of panels consist of top comics and Hollywood talent sitting at a table, repeating “I can’t talk about that” over and over again. It doesn’t make for a very dynamic panel discussion. I suppose you could argue that fans should learn not to ask or talk about the future of their favorite characters. Then…what’s the point? You’re burdened by a lot of confidential information and an ironclad non-disclosure agreement, so blink once if Dick Grayson is going to die or twice if he and Conner Kent get married and raise Damian as their own. Is that so hard?
8. Slash and Burn
I should be allowed to walk around at the end of the con, with a tube of lipstick (a la Pearl Harbor), and put an X on the forehead of anyone who’s not going to make it to the next one. That sounds way harsh, and “popular arts” has a very broad definition, but come on. Come on! If your stuff has nothing to do with comics, movies, TV, gaming, toys, subculture, counterculture, science fiction, fantasy, robots, vampires, robot vampires, Prince Adam, Yak Face, Rayne Sommers, Dolph Lundgren’s penis, Monchichis, 1983, Veronica Lodge, Benji, Zax, the Alien Prince, Norville Rogers or Alasdair Gillis, then it doesn’t belong. That’s a pretty wide and inclusive list, I think. But if that’s not you, let someone else have the frakkin’ table. Thank you.
9. Olivia Munn Is Not Funny
10. All We Want Is Life Beyond the Thunderdome
Isolated stabbings and lack of cell phone etiquette aside, I’m always very pleased by the level of kindness and humanity on display at the con. Things get crazy and intense and weird, but for the most part, people really hold it together, proving that years of reading comics and watching He-Man have paid off. Geeks are nice. And friendly. And well-endowed. And I forgot what I was saying.
I’d also like to take a moment here and thank Prism Comics for having FBOTU at their booth. They are an amazing and inspiring organization, and they couldn’t have been more supportive or generous to us. They are a non-profit organization that exists solely to support gay comic book creators and readers. If you’ve never had a chance to visit them at a con, please check out their website. There’s so much good stuff there, your head will explode. I’d also like to thank FBOTMs Rafael and Paul, who were charming and delightful every step of the way. Finally, a big thanks to everyone who stopped by to say hi, introduce themselves and talk about the site. Thank you, one and all! See you next year!
Did you attend Comic-Con? What did you learn? Feel free to share your thoughts with us in the comments section below!