Truly Bloody


Do you think the stars of True Blood ever get tired of being naked and splattered with fake blood? Judging by the cover of the latest Rolling Stone, Alexander Skarsgard might be getting a little tired of it. Or is he just annoyed to be holding Anna Paquin‘s leg and sharing the spotlight?

After site members demanded I give True Blood a second, then third chance, I did my best to keep up with this season. I’m a couple of episodes behind now, not that it matters. I’ve taken to fast-forwarding through most of it, waiting for Joe Manganiello (Alcide) to take his clothes off. Seriously, the man is too beautiful. It’s like he’s something higher on the food chain than human, the next step in evolution. You’d think they could have found room for him on the cover of Rolling Stone. He could have been kneeling in front of Alexander, playing his dutiful, faithful servant. Where was I? Oh yeah, so until Sookie manages to get him killed, I’ll keep watching. 

Rolling Stone hits newsstands today, so be sure to pick it up, if only to Photoshop or tape your picture over Anna’s. In the meantime, here’s an excerpt from the article:

“The idea of celibate vampires is ridiculous, True Blood creator Alan Ball says. ‘To me, vampires are sex,’ he says. ‘I don’t get a vampire story about abstinence. I’m 53. I don’t care about high school students. I find them irritating and uninformed.’

On his show, every available orifice is used for intercourse: gay, straight, between humans and supernatural beings, and supernatural being on supernatural being, whether he be werewolf, dog or an enormous Minotaur-looking being called a maenad. None of the sex is quite as good as vampire sex, though, which can happen at the astonishing rhythm of 120 bpm while simultaneously devouring one’s neck and making your eyes roll back into your head.

Says Stephen Moyer — who plays Bill Compton, the undead Southern Civil War Veteran — ‘If we go from a base level, vampires create a hole in the neck where there wasn’t one before. It’s a de-virginization — breaking the hymen, creating blood and then drinking the virginal blood. And there’s something sharp, the fang, which is probing and penetrating and moving into it. So that’s pretty sexy. I think that makes vampires attractive.’ He laughs a little. ‘Plus, Robert Pattinson is just hot, right?’

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