FBOTU’s Weekly Comics Load: I’ve Been to Htrae, But I’ve Never Been to Me


It’s Comics Load time! What weird and wonderful comics are in your own personal Load this week? Be sure to let us know in the comments section or over in the Comics Forum. Now, sit back, relax and enjoy the Load!

image Batman: Streets of Gotham #16
I am neither a comics expert, nor a historian. So when comic book writers tell me Martha Wayne was a tough-talking activist on the mean streets of Gotham and that Bruce and Zatanna grew up together, I have to trust they are better informed than I. The other thing in this issue that sort of surprised me is the subtle estimate of Bruce Wayne’s age: 34 or 35. I thought Dick and Barbara were probably in their late 20s, but this sort of pushes them back to, what, 20 or 22? Are we worried that kids won’t want to read about 40-year-olds who dress up as bats and fight crime? And why do the flashbacks of Martha seem to place her squarely in the 1920s? She wouldn’t have been born until the 50s, at least, then wouldn’t be saving the people of Gotham until the 70s. She should be in bell bottoms and a peasant blouse, not some wool suit and a cloche hat. Right? Am I going mad? Or does this inevitably happen in all 70-year-old comics? Does time lose all meaning?
image Justice League of America #49
Poor Dick. He should be teaming up with Superman and Wonder Woman. Instead, he gets stuck with Supergirl. They apparently just had a big adventure together, but we don’t get to see that, just the clean-up. Whee! There’s some good dialogue here, mainly about Dick trying to differentiate himself from Bruce, and I would have enjoyed a whole issue about that. However, after a quick set-up, we get this painfully awkward transition: “What do you think the rest of the League are doing right now?” Then it’s off to see just what the rest of the League are doing right now. I’m not entirely sure what this filler issue is trying to accomplish. Mostly, it just feels like Donna Troy is trying to get in Jade’s pants. She wants to open a photo studio with her, which must be lesbian lingo for something, right?
image The Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror #16
I don’t read The Simpsons comics as much as I should. When I do read them, I find them to be very clever and often hearken back to the golden age of the show. I couldn’t resist picking up this issue, though, because I love anything to do with Treehouse of Horror. A marathon viewing of Treehouse episodes always gets me in the mood for Halloween. Plus, some of my favorite lines come from those shows: “Is this the end of Zombie Skakespeare?” I say that all the time. This issue features four sci-fi or horror inspired tales, plus four “Marge Attacks!” trading cards. My favorite is “A Millhouse Divided.” Thanks to this issue, I am now one comic book closer to being in the Halloween spirit. Ah, Halloween, the most wonderful time of the year.
image Supergirl #56
Instead of just skipping this issue, I want to try to articulate why I dislike the Bizarro characters/lifestyle so much. I just don’t get it. I can understand having an evil version of Superman. Fine. But why does he look and talk that way? If the Bizarro dialect is supposed to give their words the opposite meaning, I still don’t get it. Are the writers saying that Superman is smart, so Bizarro isn’t? Or that he can’t or won’t use words properly? All of this probably wouldn’t bother me that much, except the Bizarro folks are set up as comedic characters, the butt of the joke. Is this because they’re “dumb” by Earth or Superman standards? I don’t know Bizarro’s history and have never taken the time to Google him. Was he created as some sort of commentary on society or America’s enemies in previous decades? I just don’t get it. Which is why I find it painful to read any issues featuring Bizarro characters. Me hate Bizarro! But I suppose that means I love him, which is not the case here. So, you know…me LOVE Bizarro!
image Thor #615
I’m worried about Jane Foster. In a recent issue of X-Factor, she’s in Vegas in total Vegas trampwear, scoping out the action in the casino. In this issue of Thor, she’s flitting about the hospital in a pink miniskirt and purple leggings. This woman is a doctor, people, not a superhero. Can’t Marvel let her have a little dignity? As for this issue, it’s the second in a row that I don’t quite understand. Asgard’s in Oklahoma, so the space Asgard normally occupies is now overrun with the blue people from Avatar. Then the Red Lanterns show up and kill them all, which is odd, because they’re from the DC Universe. Meanwhile, Thor misses Loki, because he always made Thor laugh…when he wasn’t trying to kill him, I guess. I really need JMS to back away from the Wonder Woman and come back to the Thor. Seriously. Like right now.
image Titans #27
Let me just sum this one up: Roy can get it up again. Boi-oi-oing!
image Uncanny X-Men #528
Guess what, kids? I think we have a Northstar sighting! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Well, I can safely say that a character who looks very much like Northstar appears on a two-page spread, fighting Nekra and Frenzy. I know they’re called “Nekra” and “Frenzy” because they get the standard little ID boxes next to them. Northstar doesn’t. Nor does his sidekick, who may or may not be Dazzler. A Northstar/Dazzler pairing makes sense, sure, since she’s some sort of pop/disco diva and he’s a gay homosexual. Be sure to join us for the next installment of “Find Northstar” where he might be over there, behind that tree.

That’s it for this week! Happy reading!