Supernatural: Leviathan Blues

When last we left Supernatural, Cas put the souls back in Purgatory, but couldn’t quite shake the Leviathans dwelling inside him. In “Hello, Cruel World,” the Cas vessel has just about had it, so the Leviathans decide to split up and try to find their own individual, low-paid extras to infect with Leviathan-y goodness.

Meanwhile, Sam and Lucifer and still having a chat, and Lucifer says my favorite line of the night: “You’re my little bitch in every sense of the term, Sam.” Yay! Lucifer is sodomizing Sam in hell. Of course, one man’s hell… Unfortunately, Dean interrupts Sam’s hellucination before we get any more details on the demon love that dare not speak its name, and the boys rush off in search of Leviathan Cas. Alas, they arrive too late to stop the Leviathan gang from taking a swim in the public water supply. Then, just to prove how evil they are, they splooge their Leviathan/X-Files black oil all over the opening titles. Evil!

After the goo goes awol, Dean clutches Cas’s trench coat, and I so wanted Sam to remind him that since he was Cas’s favorite, not Dean, he should really get the coat. No such luck. Instead, we’re treated to a montage of townspeople getting infected by Leviathans, before heading back to Winchester HQ. Sam wakes up and proves that his hair looks great, even when he’s been sleeping on it. He confesses his hellucinations to Dean, points out invisible Lucifer at his side, then explains the insane asylum episode of Buffy.

One of the Leviathans has, of course, inhabited a little girl, because there’s nothing creepier than a child. Li’l Leviathan figures out that hospitals are a great place to eat humans, and a plan begins to form. I have to wonder, though, how a Leviathan, who predates humanity, knows or wants to eat humans. Luckily, Sheriff Mills is in the hospital and can call and warn Bobby when patients begin to turn up on the surgeon’s lunch menu. This, of course, taps into everyone’s fear of hospitals as organ-harvesting restaurants for Purgatory monsters. Remind me to cancel that appendectomy I’ve been putting off.

Sam’s train to crazy town turns from a local to an express, as Lucifer morphs into Dean and berates Sam for being loco. He then tries to convince Sam to end it all (in order to end it all). Luckily, Dean finds him and manages to reel him back in by poking his wounded hand. I told Long-Suffering Boyfriend Michael that if he ever thinks he might be going crazy, I’d be happy to poke any wounds or maybe stab him in the hand, in order to bring him back to reality. He told me that poking him on Facebook is just as annoying, so I should just do that.

Bobby finds his hospital Leviathan and warns the boys, who decide to head back to HQ to regroup. Except…Bobby’s place is gone. Dean says it’s a crater, but it’s very dark, so I have to take his word for it. Actually showing the house blowing up would have been too expensive, I’m sure, but they could have at least borrowed some stock footage from the library or something. Sam could have described Sunnydale High blowing up, at least. However, before anyone can describe the off-screen destruction in greater detail, a Leviathan shows up to rough up the boys and taunt them and their puny, human bodies. Well, f**k you, Leviathan! Maybe you should just leave before someone drops a car on you. Oops, too late! Dean saves the day (and Sam), but manages to get them one-way tickets on an ambulance heading to…guess where? Yes! Leviathan General Hospital! They better not try to cut Sam’s hair, that’s all I’m saying.

Next Week: I accidentally swallow a Leviathan via a berry martini at the Abbey. A rampage ensues, because there should NOT be water in a $17 cocktail!

Read all of FBOTU’s Supernatural season seven recaps here. They’re supernaturally delicious!

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