Supernatural: Since I Found Serenity

In last week’s episode of Supernatural, Leviathans took over Sioux Falls general hospital, and Sam found that he could get a grip on reality by poking his wounds. All in all, good things to know. In “The Girl Next Door,” the boys find themselves incapacitated at Leviathan central, and it’s Bobby to the rescue, looking kind of sexy in a suit. Well, sexy in a hot daddy bear kind of way.

Luckily, the Leviathans can’t run very fast and don’t seem to have any interesting or supernatural powers, so the boys get away and head to Montana for a little R&R. Only, who the hell goes to Montana for R&R? Turns out Leviathans are setting up human cafes all over the place, and no one can stop them, so maybe they’re cool monsters after all.

Sam is still seeing and hearing things and generally spacing out, which either means that he’s still breaking down or that he’s my college roommate, who used to fall asleep with his eyes open, then sing songs in Mandarin Chinese. (P.S. He didn’t know Mandarin Chinese.) While Bobby wants to look on the bright side, Dean has actually watched the show and knows that things are only going to get worse. Cut to: Sam uses a credit card at the grocery store and triggers an alert at Leviathan customer service. I think if I were an immortal, eons-old biblical beastie, I’d be pretty pissed off if I got assigned to the credit card call center. I’d rather stay in purgatory.

Sam then has a flashback where he’s a bad teen actor who’s never done a scene on a phone before. This must be important, though, because it inspires Sam to sneak out of the house while Dean’s sleeping. At least he leaves a note for Dean, saying he’ll be back in a few days. Seems “the icepick killer” is back, and Sam recognizes the M.O. from his flashback. Sam and his bad teen actor counterpart try to put the pieces together, mainly by drawing red marker lines on maps. Teen Sam keeps talking on his vintage Nokia cell phone, and I give props to the props people for finding something that old. Must have cost them a fortune in an antiques auction.

Teen Sam comes to the rescue of a cute blonde chick named Amy, and proves that he’s better in scenes with real people than on the phone. Adult Sam then meets her again in the woods, and learns that she’s grown up to be Kaylee from Firefly. She’s also got “icepick killer” written all over her. She tries to convince Sam that while stabbing people in the head and stealing their pituitary glands is a hobby, she’s got a nice, normal life now. She’s even calling herself “Amy Pond,” which makes me like her, despite her brain-stabbing habit. Turns out she’s got a sick kid, and the brain-stealing is the only way to fix him, which makes my mom’s chicken soup seem pretty boring.

Dean finally catches up with Sam and punches him until he shares his flashbacks. Amy saved Sam’s life back in the sepia-toned 90s, and the two shared a moment, commiserating over feeling like freaks. Dean pretends to go along with Sam’s plan to let Amy go, but as soon as Sam is busy with his hairbrush, he runs off to finish business with Amy Pond. I hate when my brother kills my childhood demon crushes! Then, to make matters worse, Leviathan customer service is catching up to the boys. At least he’s out of the office. Hopefully, he had enough PTO days to cover the days off. Leviathan HR can be pretty sticky about stuff like that.

Next Week: The Leviathans audit Dean’s tax returns, while Sam flashes back to his crush on Veronica Mars.

Read all of FBOTU’s Supernatural season seven recaps here. They’re supernaturally delicious!

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