Being Human: Bang-Fest

Waiting a week for a new Being Human episode is like Aidan trying to survive on bagged blood. It’s painful waiting for your next fix, and any substitute you find just leaves a nasty taste in your mouth. I now understand why addictions can be so incapacitating.

Episode 3, “All Out Of Blood,” begins, as all BH episodes do, with a thoughtful voice-over talking about the pain we cause in the wake of our own destruction, and there’s a lot of pain in this episode.

For their first transformation together, Josh does something truly romantic for Nora. He rents side-by-side, his and hers storage units at the local Stor-Ur-Self and whips out the video camera. That’s correct second date protocol, right? Even though Sally agrees to be their jailer, Nora still isn’t convinced that recorded solitary confinement is the best way to get used to her new life. Josh explains that it’s his need to find a cure for the both of them. With a tear in her eye, Nora agrees and they give each other very cutesy puppy-love kisses.

Aidan, on the other hand, is exploring romance of a different kind. He continues to have hot sex with his new fling Julia, who has managed to get an internship at the hospital despite the impression she left us with in the last episode. Soon, she and Aidan will we working together, which will make it even harder to control his urges. Aidan won’t drink “live” blood, but at least he has that endless hospital supply to keep his urges under control, right?

Wrong! That crazy hospital has finally caught on and locked the blood supply closet. Without his vampire methodone, Aidan can’t resist the urge to feed. Though this puts Julia in some serious jeopardy, he doesn’t hesitate taking her back to his place to “tap that ass” (as Sally puts it; she really is one of the guys). To control his urges, Aidan excuses himself mid-passion to get some “water” and runs into his best bud Josh.

Okay, do straight guys really do this? They each have an attractive naked woman upstairs, and yet they end up bonding in the kitchen over snacks. These were the tactics I employed to avoid intimacy with girlfriends in high school. Bromance or not, something about this intimacy does not say straight to me. As Aidan heads back upstairs, Josh gives him a thumbs-up. Yes, Josh, that was douchey. Regardless, the bang-fest begins.

Sally meets a living nurse at the hospital whose gift of “second sight” allows her to see ghosts and help spirits move on being reincarnated into the bodies of newborns. Since she missed her own door, this becomes Sally’s new mission. She’ll do anything to get Nurse Zoey’s help, but when the dark entity stops her from hijacking a newborn, Sally realizes that’s not her way to move on.

Oh right, that pain Josh mentioned in the opening monologue? It comes back to bite him hard. After the Aidan/Julia and Josh/Nora bang-a-palooza, the roommates finally get to meet Aidan’s walk-of-shame girlfriend. Her secret hits with a total blindside. She’s the Julia, as in Josh’s jilted ex-fiancé Julia. Wow! Isn’t that in violation of some kind of bro-code? Let’s see. Who isn’t feeling some sort of pain or discomfort when this comes out?

They all process it differently. Josh confronts Aidan about endangering Julia and staying loyal to their friendship. Nora becomes defiant, refuses to turn in storage, and stalks a very bitter Julia. And Aidan? As his blood withdrawls get worse, he deteriorates into the monster he’s been fighting inside. His last shameful act is feeding from an aging blood hooker and tripping through a haze in a blood drug den.

Josh says at the opening, “Once you open some doors, you can never close them again.” As this episode ends, every door is blown wide open.

Jim C. is a sci-fi/supernatural/federation/superhero/Cylon teacher nerd, obsessed with TV, books and film. He spent his childhood reading comics, writing morbid horror stories and being the token tormented class homo, but he thinks he turned out pretty freakin’ awesome. image