Games and Gaymers

Roleplay Like It’s 1985

I’ve been so swept up in my World of Warcraft questing that it’s easy to forget the old days, before MMORPGs, back when you had to use your…what was it…hold on, let me look it up on Google—imagination! You had to use your imagination and a couple of dice and maybe some graph paper. I had pretty much forgotten my foray into the world of Dungeons & Dragons until I happened to see that a new introductory set is going to be released this fall. According to the Wizards of the Coast website, the new edition “introduces the complex world of D&D play to new fans in simple, easy-to-understand ways.” Translation: They’ve dumbed it way down for today’s stupid children. I vividly remember saving up to buy the bright red introductory box that held the key to being transported to another world. A dangerous and daring world that the news was beginning to warn parents about. I couldn’t wait. I read the instruction manual over and over, used the white crayon to color in the numbers on the dice, and waited to be corrupted by demonic forces. Nothing happened. I had no one to play with. So I started watching the D&D cartoon instead, always hoping that Hank and Eric would leave the others behind and go off skinny-dipping and maybe make out. Which probably explains why no one would play with me. Apparently, I needed no further corruption, demonic or otherwise.