Toys & Merch

Guess Who’s Not Coming to Dinner?

Awww. Check out the Disney Princess Shimmer Doll Collection from Target. The whole gang of lovely royal ladies is included, even Mulan, who isn’t a princess at all. She’s a cross-dressing army wife. You know who really is a princess? Pocahontas. Her father’s a chief, after all. It looks like the Princesses have been given a makeover, too, with new frocks of the shimmery variety. You know who wears clothes? Pocahontas. Are you telling me you can make a fish tail out of shimmery lamé, but not a buckskin mini-skirt? Some of these sets of dolls even come with shimmery color-coordinated horses, too. You know who has a horse? Pocahontas. In fact, it makes a lot more sense for Poca to have a shimmery horse than, say, Cinderella, who was never really known for her equestrian skills, except for the whole pumpkin coach thing, which she did not drive herself. With just a day to go before Thanksgiving, I wonder if the Princesses will be donning their shimmery gowns and enjoying a feast, undoubtedly whipped up by kitchen-bound fairy godmothers. You know who else enjoys Thanksgiving? Pocahontas. In fact, let’s see how much Pocahontas enjoys Thanksgiving in this clip of “A Turkey Named Brotherhood” from Addams Family Values.

“To quote the kids in the ghetto: ‘Burn, baby, burn!’”
-Angela Arden


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