The Way That Life Can Suck

It’s reached epidemic levels, hasn’t it? This whole vampire craze. It’s almost as if some deity has decided to punish mankind for not getting enough fresh air and exercise. The 2012 thing is just a red herring. The real end of the world is a whole slew of terrible vampire movies and TV shows raining down upon us like fire. With that in mind, let’s take a look at the latest. This is a teaser for The Vampire Diaries, premiering tonight on the CW at 8/7c.

As with True Blood and Twilight, The Vampire Diaries is about a parentally-challenged girl of questionable intelligence who becomes the object of obsession for a 100-year-old vampire. The vamps in Diaries seem to be of the Twilight variety, since they can roam around in daylight, looking pained and pale. No word yet on whether or not they glitter like twinks at a White Party. I suppose this overall archetype goes all the way back to Dracula, and his obsession with the young and vapid Mina. (For once, I’d like to see some geeky gay guy being stalked by a handsome, exotic vampire.) Since I have nothing planned Thursday night, I could potentially take one for the team and watch this thing while I’m reading this week’s comics. I’m certainly not against vampires. I’m a Buffy-watching, Anne Rice-reading, fang-wearing vamp geek all the way. I’m just hoping and praying and crying bloody tears, waiting for something new and unique in vampire lore to come along. Will The Vampire Diaries be it? I’ll let you know tomorrow.