TV

FBOTU’s GeekTV: Doppelgangbang

This week’s GeekTV had me seeing double, and I hadn’t even opened that second bottle of Absolut Ruby Red vodka. (Mmm…so good in lemonade. And tea. And Slim Fast.) No, for once, my blurry vision is due entirely to an odd theme in my favorite shows this week. On The Vampire Diaries, we have doppelganger teens Elena and Katherine. On Fringe, we have Olivia and alternate universe Fauxlivia. And on Supernatural, we have shapeshifting versions of the Winchester brothers. I kept expecting Bizarro Blur to show up on Smallville. So, sit back, relax, and we’ll try to sort it all out.

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“OMG! It’s totes the Civil War, yo, and even though it’s 1864 and Sherman just burned Atlanta in his march to the sea and the Confederacy never really recouped after the Battle of Cold Harbor, we’re partying like it’s Act One of Gone With the Wind. LOLZ!”

I’ve been making fun of The Vampire Diaries for relying too heavily on having a party or celebration every week as an excuse to get characters and their victims together. So when this episode started with the announcement of a Gilbert family barbeque, I almost threw my television out the window. Luckily, the barbeque is a very small affair, with just Jenna, Alaric, Mason and Damon in attendance. If Jenna were smart (and a gay man), she would have found a way to move that party to the bedroom. But no, she keeps things moving along as lamely as possible, until the party ends and Damon stabs Mason in the chest with a silver knife. You know, to test that old myth about silver and werewolves. Well, Mason had tried his best to be friends with Damon, even shaking his hand and staring meaningfully into his eyes for an uncomfortable length of time. But no more. Enemy lines have been drawn.

Meanwhile, Stefan and Katherine chat about the good ol’ horrific days. You may have noticed that whenever Stefan wants to talk to someone, he poisons them, ties them up and tortures them. Why isn’t anyone concerned about this behavior? Anyway, it turns out it was Katherine, not General Sherman, who burned a path across the South. And, by the way, she really did love Stefan. Now, here comes the criticism. Actress Nina Dobrev is clearly doing the best she can in a show about teen vampires played by 30-year-olds. The problem is she has this unique chance to play two completely different characters and doesn’t do much with either of them. Katherine is from another time and place, and if her character is as cold and ruthless as everyone says, it would make sense for her to have retained her grandeur in a way the Salvatore brothers wouldn’t. But Dobrev plays her as basically a bitchier version of Elena, so it’s no surprise that she’s fooling people so well with the constant switcheroos. Plus, I’m willing to believe that a vampire would lose his Southern accent over the years, but even the people in 1864 talk like they’re from the San Fernando Valley. Like, oh my God, this show had better get better.

Nina Dobrev should take a few pointers from Anna Torv on Fringe, who’s playing both Olivia and her alternate universe doppelganger Fauxlivia with great skill and clarity. In fact, the characters are so obviously different that I can’t believe none of the other characters have figured it out. Olivia is all about precision and control over her emotions. She rarely smiles, because she knows that as soon as she does, something horrible will happen. She makes Agent Scully look like a Kardashian. Fauxlivia, on the other hand, smiles all the time, is much more in tune with her body and sexuality, and is more physically present and aggressive. It’s an amazing performance. So, why don’t the stupid boys notice this change? I’ve prepared a little visual aid to help Peter recognize the differences:

How to Spot Fauxlivia
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Now that that’s all cleared up. Bring back Olivia (or Realivia, I guess)!

Something…is not quite right in the world of Supernatural. It’s not the usual ghoulish shenanigans, either. Something is going on. The show is doing a good job so far of slowly planting some doubts in our minds. Who is Campbell working for? What are they doing with the hostiles they’re capturing? How much does Sam know? Is that really Sam? Or is Sam still in heck? Why would they work so hard to make sure Dean has a chance at a normal life, then expect him to give it all up and rejoin the hunter campaign? The mystery continues to unfold, and now that Dean has permission to leave his girlfriend and go kill things again, I’m really looking forward to the mayhem. And more of this:

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Kiss him! Kiss him!

I’m not necessarily disappointed in the appearance of Deadshot on this week’s Smallville. It’s just that I was expecting the hunkier, sexier version from Secret Six. You know, the one who’s always shooting people while wearing little more than a pair of tight boxers. Smallville’s version of Deadshot clearly shops in the Johnny Cash department at Drysdale’s and laments the cancellation of Hee-Haw.

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“I wish I knew how to quit you…and bolo ties.”

I still kind of liked him, though, especially when he was terrorizing Cat Grant, the character no one ever wants to see…ever. Deadshot delivers this great speech to her, where he tells her that after he shoots her, it will only take a couple of years for her son to forget her and move on. It’s awesome! I fully intend to use that the next time someone tries to play the “Don’t kill me; I have a kid” card. Nice try, lady. Anyway, as much as I hate Cat, I understand that I’m supposed to. And they do a good job of introducing her as a kind of neo-con/talk radio zombie who hates superheroes because they somehow abstractly affect her idea of the “real America.” It makes more sense than the comic book version, who hates Supergirl “just because.” Now that Tess is doing her best to join the good guys, Cat will make a good foil for our heroes. But Oliver had better cheer up soon. If you haven’t noticed, happy Oliver takes his shirt off more often than mopey Oliver, who just drinks a lot and doesn’t shave. Come back to us, happy, shirtless Oliver! And shoot Cat Grant in the head, while you’re at it.

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