It could just be the Nyquil martinis talking, but I think I’m ready to declare Magic Mike the best movie of 2012. Will it be Showgirls bad? Or will it be Full Monty good? I honestly don’t care, because Joe Manganiello is playing a character named Big Dick Richie. That’s really all I need to know. In case this is the first you’ve heard of Magic Mike, it’s all about the lives and loves of a group of male strippers. Fantastic. I can’t wait.
The movie stars Channing Tatum, a former stripper himself, as well as Matthew McConaughey, who hasn’t worn a shirt since the early 90s. The image that’s been released seems to have a military or patriotic theme going on, or maybe this is actually a still from the new G.I. Joe movie. In which case, where the hell is the Rock?
The only thing that might knock Magic Mike off my list of the best movies of 2012 is if it’s rampantly homophobic. Though I certainly don’t expect any make-out scenes, I do expect to see the boys oiling each other up before the show and maybe taking a group shower after. Anything less will be a major disappointment.
Now that I’ve had my say, it’s time to top off my Nyquil with a shot of vodka and dream of Joe “Big Dick Richie” Manganiello. Good night!