Toys & Merch

“Fugly” Re-Defined

This is gorgeous model/actress Rachel Nichols as Shana “Scarlett” O’Hara in the forthcoming G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra movie:


This is her action figure:



And that, kids, is why actor’s should demand likeness approval in their contracts. Holy crackers, that is f***ked up! If you put a trench coat on the Scarlett action figure, she could easily pass for Rorschach from Watchmen:



I’m not sure what happened in translating Rachel into plastic. This new Scarlett figure makes the 80s version look like, well, Rachel Nichols. There must be a subplot in the movie where Cobra attacks Scarlett’s face and makes her look like the Resuscitation Annie CPR dummy. That’s the only explanation. That, or Rachel was a total megabitch to the folks at Hasbro, so this is their sweet, sweet plastic revenge. When the toy industry wakes up and finally makes an action figure of me, I want him to look like a cross between Ewan McGregor and Colin Farrell. And be life-size. And anatomically correct. And what were we talking about?

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