Toys & Merch

The Other White Meat


Oh yes, it will be mine. This vision of loveliness is from Tonner’s new line of Miss Piggy fashion dolls. Pictured here is the basic model, standing 16” tall, with custom-made, changeable wig and painted facial features. Yes, you read that right. You can buy other wigs for Piggy. The basic model is priced at $99, but you can find it for $89 at the major online toy distributors. The other versions, in various fashions, go for up to $225. I prefer the basic model myself, since it’s closer to the classic Piggy look we all know and love. The big question is how do I possibly justify paying $89-$99 for a 16” pig doll? When I was just a little gay fanboy, I wanted the plush Piggy hand puppet that was popular at the time, but my folks refused, citing, you know, common sense. I still look for that puppet on eBay from time to time, determined to fill whatever void it left in my increasingly bereft soul. So I think an $89 16” fashion pig doll is just what I need to get over that little childhood trauma. In other news, it’s Earth Day, the world is going to hell, we’re still at war, but I’m getting my Piggy, damn it!

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