Being Human (US): Raging Boners

I’ve been lying awake at night for the last week for two reasons. First, while I think everything will eventually turn out okay for our favorite Being Human wolf couple, I’ve been worried about the second silver bullet from last week’s episode. Second, every time I close my eyes, I’m haunted by the freakishly smoky ghost attack on Sally. What did she do to herself? I need answers. I’ve never been so relieved that it’s Monday.

For a one-hour episode, they’ve stuffed the script to the limit. Sally introduces episode two, “Do You Really Want To Hurt Me,” by telling us that her new ability to dream is “only a nest to hatch more nightmares.” And no matter how happy they seem to be, all the roommates are living in their own nightmares, with no hope for escape. Not the most uplifting way to start the show, but okay.

So, what exactly happened to that second bullet? Nora changes just in time to attack Hegeman, before he delivered a fatal shot to naked Josh. While viewers are relieved, this probably won’t make Mother very happy, even with her daughter, Suren, back from the grave. Nora pestered Josh relentlessly to know what it was like to turn, but even if he had told her, I’m not sure she would have been prepared. Come on, she wakes up “naked, in a pile of leaf litter” with a squirrel in her mouth. How can you prepare for that?

Her fate as a werewolf sealed, Nora begins to process her chaotic feelings in two ways. She maniacally rattles off questions to Josh, worried about drinking mochas and peeing in bathrooms. Then, when she does calm down enough to attend a work function with him, she finds those feelings at the bottom of a bottle, and it makes for quite the awkward social mixer. As a result, Josh wants to give up everything, just so he can take care of Nora and find her a cure. He is SUCH the loyal pup. Even as werewolves, these two are pure Lifetime movie material.

After feeding, Suren remarkably transforms from Cryptkeeper to sex goddess and finds her old idol Aidan has changed, as well. He no longer kills, and he no longer feeds on humans. Knowing the suspicion around Hegeman’s absence, Suren blackmails Aiden into turning a female cop instead of using a vampire already in place. Is the Aidan/Josh bromance so obvious that even the dead and buried know about it? Looks like man, even undead man, really IS dog’s best friend. But when Aidan can’t bring himself to do it, Suren learns he’s not really fit to be her second. At one point, she asks Aidan what it’s like without his maker. Clearly she’s making a subtle powerplay for more than just Boston.


Back at the house, Sally’s hanging out with some rowdy new friends: a bunch of ghostly, nut-punching teenage boys, Suicide Stevie, Dylan and the aptly named Boner, who all obsess over mind-whacking and spectral masturbation. When not ball-beating each other, they also go “raging” and decide to take Sally along for the ride. If anyone gives in to temptation like the season promises, it’s Sally. Raging, or possessing a body, becomes her new drug. Even though Stevie warns her “it’s like a crack den,” Sally dives in and immediately starts acting like she is, in fact, on crack. That’s not really under the radar.

Sally is taking every advantage of the body she’s in, eating chips, guzzling beer, huffing jasmine, no problem. But when her new friend Dylan tries taking some advantages with it, Sally suddenly realizes, it’s not so okay anymore. Suicide Stevie rips her from her host, and in a fit of possession-induced roid rage, Stevie destroys Dylan. How you kill a ghost is unclear, but—poof—Dylan ceases to exist.

In the end, Sally, in her possession crack hangover, commiserates with Nora over their circumstances. Nora slowly remembers that she killed Hegeman and tells Sally, “It’s better to know what you’re capable of, so you understand what you’re dealing with.“ Truer words were never spoken, especially with all the new nightmares sure to start coming out of the woodwork.

Wait. Where’s the sex this episode? Well, somehow in all this action, Aiden meets a hottie interviewing at the hospital. Later, she runs into him at the bar, swears she’s not a stalker and introduces herself. Her name is Julia and based on the hot, up-against-the-wall-in-the-bar makeout session she instigates, she’s also pretty easy. That’s enough to keep us fantasizing until next week.

Jim C. is a sci-fi/supernatural/federation/superhero/Cylon teacher nerd, obsessed with TV, books and film. He spent his childhood reading comics, writing morbid horror stories and being the token tormented class homo, but he thinks he turned out pretty freakin’ awesome. image
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